


Area 51

by carlyraeswift



Category: Marvel
Genre: Crack, F/F, Gen, Humor, Light-Hearted, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-09-03
Packaged: 2020-09-26 12:29:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20389741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carlyraeswift/pseuds/carlyraeswift
Summary: Shuri, Peter, Flash, MJ, Ned, Liz, Wanda, and Deadpool investigate what the heck is really going on in Area 51. Eventual Shuri/Liz and Peter/Flash.





	1. Encrypted Evites To Raid Area 51

**Shuri: Yo, Pete. You up for raiding Area 51?**

**Peter: You know the memes are ironic, right???**

**Shuri: Yeah but with my tech and your superpowers, we could do it.**

**Peter: How serious are you?**

**Shuri: I'm serious.**

**Peter: ...**

**Peter: Let's do it.**

Peter knew that it wasn’t exactly the greatest idea, and Mr. Stark would be rolling in his grave at the idea but Shuri did have awesome tech and it would be safer with her.

**Shuri: Who do we want on our Raid Area 51 Team?**

**Peter: Can we bring Ned and MJ?**

**Shuri: You think MJ would come?**

**Peter: Maybe. She totally hates the US government.**

**Shuri: VALID.**

**Shuri: Can we ask Liz, too? 👀**

**Peter: Do you still have a crush on her?**

**Shuri: Shh. Someone will hear you.**

**Peter: Shuri, this channel is so encrypted the CIA can’t access it. Who are you worried is going to hear?**

**Shuri: WELL can she come?**

**Peter: Yeah, okay. Anyone else?**

**Shuri: Maybe someone else with superpowers?**

**Peter: Maybe we can convince Wanda. I bet Wade would come. If we wanted him to...**

**Shuri: A true asset to the team. Text him.**

**Peter: k, I’m inviting MJ, Ned, Wanda, and Wade.**

**Shuri: What about Liz???**

**Peter: You invite her! She’s your girlfriend!**

**Shuri: I WISH.**

**Shuri: Sending her an evite.**

**Peter: Well if you’re doing evites, just send them to everyone then.**

**Shuri: They’re going to say _Shuri and Peter Invite You To Raid Area 51_. But when?**

**Peter: Saturday. Also, might want to make a note that we’re actually serious.**

**Shuri: Gotcha.**

* * *

** _Shuri invited you to Raid Area 51 with Peter Parker._ **

**Invited: Michelle Jones, Ned Leeds, Wanda Maximoff, Wade Wilson, Flash Thompson.**


	2. Flash Drives and Trash Drives

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, just wanted to make a note that for ages everyone is 18-21 except Wade who is in his 30s. He’s not anyone’s love interest he’s the weird uncle basically.

“You invited Flash?” Peter asked incredulously.

“We needed someone else to drive,” Shuri pointed out. “Not all of us are going to fit in Wade’s car.”

She had a point. There were seven of them (eight now that Flash had joined the Raid Crew) and two cars made more sense. Even if one was Flash’s annoyingly expensive and impractical sports car.

“Hey, Penis,” Flash said. “Thanks for the evite.”

“You’re welcome,” Peter said. “It was almost totally on purpose.”

“I heard Spider-Man was coming,” Flash said.

“Shuri!” Peter said. “You did not tell him that.”

“I’m guessing he isn’t coming,” Flash said, noticeable disappointment on his face.

“Three of the crew have powers, Peter,” Shuri said. “He’s going to find out eventually.”

“You have powers?” Flash asked Shuri. “Wicked cool!”

“I only have my technological genius, fortune, access to vibranium, and title as legit Princess of Wakanda,” Shuri humble bragged. “But Peter...”

“_You_ have powers?” Flash asked Peter.

“I’m Spider-Man, Flash. Sorry to disappoint you,” Peter said.

Flash looked from Peter to Shuri and then back and forth a couple of times. “Is he serious?” he asked Shuri.

“Oh, yeah. Dead serious,” Shuri said.

That was the moment Ned and MJ showed up.

“Oh, God. You invited Flash?” MJ said. “Who else did you invite?”

“Umm...” Peter said, trying to think of someway to break it to her. Liz was MJ’s ex-girlfriend and it was bound to be awkward but Shuri had really wanted to bring Liz and Shuri was the one with the technology to break into Area 51.

“We invited Liz and a couple of our other friends,” Shuri said. “Do you know Wanda and Wade?”

MJ shook her head. She looked a little peeved.

“You mean Wanda Maximoff?” Ned asked.

“The Scarlet Witch?” Flash asked. “You have all the coolest friends, Peter! Including me.” He laughed at his own joke.

“Are we friends?” Peter asked, surprised.

“Depends if you’re really Spider-Man,” Flash quipped. That was when Wade showed up in his trashy car. “Who’s that?” Flash asked skeptically.

“His name is Wade, but we all call him Deadpool,” Wanda said rolling down the window of the passenger seat. “I’m Wanda. The Scarlet Witch.”

“So, we’re only waiting for one more,” Shuri said.

“Are you sure Liz is coming?” MJ asked looking nervous.

“Yeah,” Peter said, pointing at Liz who was walking towards them.

“Hey, guys,” Liz said nervously. She carried a backpack and a large duffel bag with her.

“Bring enough stuff?” Flash asked.

“You know Roswell is like a 30 hour drive from New York, right?” Liz said.

“...I knew that,” Flash said.

“Who’s riding with me?” Wade asked. “Might as well split four and four.”

“Peter and I are going with Flash,” Shuri said.

“We are?” Peter said.

“Ned and I will go with Wade,” MJ said.

“I’ll go with Flash,” Liz said but she was smiling at Shuri.

“Great, let’s go kiddies!” Wade said.


	3. Alien Raccoon Friends and Love Vibes

Michelle didn’t really want to ride with Peter’s weird friend Wade, but Wanda was nice enough, and she had volunteered herself and Ned so that she wouldn’t end up in the same car as Liz.

It had been two months since Liz had broken up with her, saying “we should just be friends.” But now MJ had the desire to run every time she saw Liz and she didn’t know if they were still friends at all.

MJ sat in the back of the car beside Ned. They were just out of NYC, which meant they still had about twenty-eight hours left to drive. MJ had packed lighter than Liz but she had a backpack full of supplies and was ready for at least a week of travel.

“So what exactly are we looking for at Area 51?” Wanda asked, perhaps trying to make friendly conversation.

“Aliens,” Ned said simply.

“The truth,” Michelle said.

“Obviously aliens are real,” Wanda said. “I have a friend alien raccoon.”

Michelle couldn’t tell if she was serious or not so she didn’t comment.

“Thor’s an alien,” Ned said. “So what are they hiding?”

“That’s what we’re going to find out,” Wade said. “And with Wanda here, who is going to stop us? I heard she can blow shit up with her mind.”

“I told you that so you’d behave,” Wanda said. “But I totally can if I want to.”

“Are you an alien?” Ned asked.

Wanda shook her head. “No, a mutant. But they keep mutants hushed up, too. Maybe it’s mutants at Area 51.”

MJ found this a sobering thought but she didn’t trust the government at all and it wouldn’t surprise her.

* * *

Peter sat in the passenger seat of Flash’s sports car, which meant Shuri and Liz were in the back. The convertible probably wasn’t the most practical way to drive across the country but it was sort of fun to ride in for a while.

"So you're really, Spider-Man," Flash said. "You just got ten times hotter."

"Wait, what?" Peter asked, but Flash just turned the music up louder to avoid conversation.

"I love this song!" Shuri said as the Drake song in the speakers cranked up.

"Do you really think we have the tools to infiltrate Area 51?" Liz asked. "Maybe we should have planned ahead a bit farther..."

"We have twenty-seven more hours on the road to plan," Shuri pointed out. "At some point we'll probably stop at a motel. Wade can probably drive thirty hours straight but I don't think Flash can."

"I could if I wanted to!" Flash complained.

"You don't have any powers, you'll be hallucinating after that long," Shuri pointed out.

"Who's going to share rooms then?" Flash asked.

"Why do you want to know? Do you want to share with Peter?" Shuri asked, an evil grin forming on her face.

"Flash and Peter are a thing?" Liz asked. "When did that happen?"

"It did _not_ happen," Peter said.

"He just has a hard-on for Spider-Man, who he recently found out is Peter Parker," Shuri explained to Liz.

"That's so cute," Liz said.

Peter sighed. "Shuri, I thought this was about aliens not about getting us dates."

"A truly skillful person can do both at once," Shuri said.

"Wait... who are you trying to date?" Liz asked Shuri.

"Oh, yes. Shuri. Who do you want to date?" Peter challenged, glad to deflect from whatever was going on with him and Flash. It was super weird. He had always on some level had a crush on Flash but he had always known it wasn't going to happen. Now, Flash was seeming like he might have a bit of a thing for Peter (or Spider-Man). Peter didn't know how to handle that so he preferred to deflect until he could analyze his thoughts further.

"That reminds me," Shuri said. "Liz, I was hoping you would go out with me."

"Out like a date or out like we'd be girlfriends?" Liz asked.

"Both!" Shuri said.

Liz smiled back at her. "Okay. Yeah. I think I would like that."

"The love vibes in this car are out of this world," Flash said.

"Oh my God," Peter said. They were only a couple hours into the trip, even if Shuri had successfully secured a girlfriend Peter was pretty sure for him this was going to be a _long_ trip.


	4. There's Only One Bed.

The eight of them had made some fairly good progress driving across America even though Flash had to stop for gas three times and there were more than a couple breaks for someone to go to the restroom. Still, around ten o'clock Wade called Peter.

"You guys wanna find a hotel and get some sleep?" he asked. Peter vaguely wondered if Wade got tired at all or if he was more concerned about the others.

"You guys want to call it a day and find a hotel?" Peter asked Flash, Shuri, and Liz.

"Yeah, that would be great," Liz said. "I'm getting pretty tired."

"Sounds good," Shuri said.

They stopped at a nearby motel that wasn't particularly fancy but was clean and served their purpose.

"How many rooms do we want?" Wanda asked as the eight of them stood at the front desk.

"We only have four rooms left," the woman at the counter told her.

"Well, I guess that means we'll take four," MJ said.

"I'll share with you," Wanda offered Liz. Ned and Wade had apparently become buddies during the drive and doubled up. Which left Liz with Shuri, and Peter with Flash.

Peter thought it might be awkward, when he was pretty sure Flash might have implied that he was hot earlier but he didn't complain because that would be rude. He had expected there to be two queen sized beds in their room, but there was only one bed, a king-sized bed.

"You know what this means in fanfiction, don't you?" Flash asked Peter.

Peter wasn't sure exactly what it meant, but he had a clue.

* * *

Liz and Shuri had two queen beds although they wouldn't have cared if they only had one bed because as reasonable people they could handle sharing a bed.

Liz took her shoes off and took a seat on one of the beds, claiming it as her own. "So do we have a plan really for going to Area 51?" she asked Shuri. "And how serious are we? Because it seems to be getting more and more real."

"I was serious when I started this," Shuri said. "I want to find out what's in there. But I think only a few people are actually going to go in. We're going to set up base nearby. Wade has a teleportation belt, which makes him the best choice to go in. Wanda and Peter I suspect we will set up nearby as backup. I'll have cameras for them to set up so we can see everything."

Liz nodded, seeming to take that in. "Okay. Because as someone with no superpowers, I was getting pretty nervous."

"I don't have superpowers either," Shuri reminded her.

"Are you kidding?" Liz said. "Your brain is your superpower. All this technology, _you_ invented it. You can't blow things up with your brain, but you can blow things up with things your brain made, and that's pretty cool."

Shuri smiled. "Yeah, I guess it is pretty cool."


	5. That Bisexual Mood

“Peter?” Flash asked.

Peter stirred himself awake. Flash's voice was a pleasant interruption from his nightmares.

“I’m up, I’m up,” Peter said, shooting straight up in his bed as if to shake the dreams off. He was sweating and out of sorts, but he realized where he was. In bed with Flash of all places.

“Are you okay?” Flash asked with concern. “That sounded like some pretty bad nightmares.”

“I’m fine,” Peter said on auto-pilot.

“Okay,” Flash said. “Do you want to go back to sleep?”

It seemed weird to Peter that Flash was concerned about him. “I don’t really feel like going back to sleep,” he admitted.

“How about we watch movies then?” Flash asked.

“Okay,” Peter agreed. They found a movie on the paid channels about aliens. It wasn’t until halfway through the movie that Peter noticed he was cuddling with Flash and he found he didn’t mind.

* * *

The following morning Peter and Flash hadn’t gotten much sleep at all, but Flash seemed to be in good spirits despite the fact that he was supposed to drive for ten hours that day and Peter had kept him up most of the night.

“Did you sleep okay?” Liz asked Peter looking mildly concerned.

“I hardly slept at all,” Peter admitted reluctantly. He didn’t want to tell Liz that and have her worry but if they were going to be spending the day together it would soon become obvious that he was not well rested.

“Too busy making out with Flash?” Shark teased.

“**_Shuri!!!_**” Peter almost shrieked.

“Stop bugging him,” Flash said.

“What? You could do worse than Flash,” Shuri said.

“Shuri,” Liz gave her girlfriend a warning look. “I think you should just leave it.”

“No, it’s okay,” Peter said. He decided now would be a good time to come out to Flash, since the only other two people here were his good friends and already knew he was bisexual. Now that he thought about it, he was pretty sure Shuri didn’t know he wasn't out at school which explained her lack of tact.

“I am bisexual,” Peter said quietly. He just barely looked over at Flash to see if he reacted.

“Big mood,” Flash said.

“What?” Liz asked.

“Being bisexual. It’s a big mood,” Flash said. “I always knew you liked puns a suspicious amount for a straight boy.”


End file.
